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As my mother constantly reminds me, without your mother, you would not exist.\u00a0 As a result, my mother says that international law says that from birth until death, your mother is your ONLY Very Important Person.\u00a0 Your mother’s entire survival legally depends on you.\u00a0 It doesn’t matter how old you are, or if you have a significant other or spouse.\u00a0 No one should have more priority in your life than your mother.\u00a0 She also says that anyone, regardless of age, who doesn’t prioritize listening to and obeying what their mother says is an evil, childish, and selfish person and will end up in the worst corner of Hell when they die.<\/p>\n
My mother also says you have to call your mother every day (or night), and your mother has to hang up first, no matter how long the call is or what time it is.\u00a0 Your mother also has the right to call you any time she wants, even in the middle of the night, and you must answer.\u00a0 In this situation, the expectation is also that your mother has to hang up first.<\/p>\n
Because of this prioritization of mothers, my mother believes you must always be near your mother in case something happens.\u00a0 Until the day you get married, my mother believes international law prohibits you from moving out of your mother’s home, regardless of how old you are.\u00a0 For the sake of argument, let’s say “near” means 2 hours.\u00a0 Based on this definition, my mother believes that international law requires that where you live, where your mother lives, and where you work must all be within two hours of each other.\u00a0 The idea is that if anything happened to your mother, you could get to her side quickly.\u00a0 In addition, employers must ask prospective employees where their mother lives to ensure they’re not hiring an international law violator.<\/p>\n
A side effect would be that all three are stuck where they are and can’t move very far.\u00a0 You can’t move more than two hours away from both your work location and your mother.\u00a0 If your mother moves more than two hours away, then you also have to move to stay within a two-hour distance.\u00a0 This may cause you to change work locations or employers to keep your work location within two hours of both you and your mother.\u00a0 Finally, if your employer moves more than two hours away, you have to quit your job and find a new employer within two hours of both you and your mother.<\/p>\n
Another thing my mother says is that if your mother is not well, you must drop everything — your job, everything- and spend 24\/7\/365 with your mother until either she is fully healed or she dies.\u00a0 My mother says international law demands it.\u00a0 Healing your mother is also your personal responsibility, not doctors, nurses, or anyone associated with the medical profession.\u00a0 This means that from the first day of your very first job, you must save as much of your income as you can, because once your mother is sick, you might never have income again, if you’re very unlucky.<\/p>\n
In my mother’s opinion, nursing homes and elder care facilities are like animal shelters.\u00a0 It’s where you send people you don’t want anymore.<\/p>\n
In any case, my mother claims that if you don’t believe everything above is true, then you’re not human.<\/p>\n
On a side note, my mother also claims that international law requires all men at least 35 years old and all women at least 30 years old to be married at least once.\u00a0 This would help ensure the planet doesn’t run out of humans if deaths outpace births for too long.\u00a0 And since each generation has to sacrifice itself for the previous generation, you have to have children who can sacrifice themselves to ensure your well-being.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
As my mother constantly reminds me, without your mother, you would not exist.\u00a0 As a result, my mother says that international law says that from birth until death, your mother is your ONLY Very Important Person.\u00a0 Your mother’s entire survival legally depends on you.\u00a0 It doesn’t matter how old you are, or if you … Continue reading “Your Mother is the ONLY VIP; The Only Person That Matters”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-135","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/barnetthsu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/135","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/barnetthsu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/barnetthsu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/barnetthsu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/barnetthsu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=135"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/barnetthsu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/135\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":145,"href":"https:\/\/barnetthsu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/135\/revisions\/145"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/barnetthsu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=135"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/barnetthsu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=135"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/barnetthsu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=135"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}